Trying to Conceive a Boy vs. a Girl (Can you choose the sex of your baby?)

Are you “trying” for a girl? How about a boy? Maybe you’re like me, and your eldest child is begging for a baby brother, but point-blank stated that you’d better not bring home another sister. Apart from a sexed IVF cycle and earnest prayer, is there anything you can do to help favor conception of a baby of a certain gender? Let’s take a look at history, anthropology, modern thought and, of course, the science.

---

1. Shettles Method: Timing

Developed by Dr. Landrum Shettles in the 1960s, this method suggests that male (Y) sperm are faster swimmers but less resilient, whereas female (X) sperm are slower but more durable. To conceive a boy, Shettles recommends having intercourse close to ovulation, allowing the faster Y sperm to reach the egg first. For a girl, intercourse should occur several days before ovulation, giving the hardier X sperm a better chance of survival.

According to this theory, if you want to concieve a girl, you should:

• Avoid having sex on your most fertile days (which is the day of a positive LH strip or ewcm)
• Have sex several times in the week prior to ovulation, avoiding the 2-3 days immediately before

According to this theory, if you want to conceive a boy, you should:

• Only have intercourse on your most fertile days (the day of a positive LH strip or ewcm)

---

2. Mineral Diet and Timing Method

The Mineral Diet Method suggests that maternal diet and timing of intercourse influence the baby’s sex. For a girl, the Mineral Diet recommends a diet low in sodium and high in calcium, combined with intercourse 2–3 days before ovulation. For a boy, a diet high in sodium and potassium, combined with intercourse 4–6 days before ovulation, is suggested. A study published in Human Reproduction found that following these guidelines resulted in a higher probability of conceiving a girl (81%) compared to the general population.

According to this theory, if you want to concieve a girl, you should:

• Limit sodium
• Consider supplementing with calcium, or consume a high- calcium diet
• Limit potassium-rich foods
• Engage in intercourse daily for the 2-3 days prior to ovulation

According to this theory, if you want to conceive a boy, you should:

• Consume foods rich in potassium
• Consider avoiding high-calcium foods like dairy
• Engage in intercourse daily up until 4 days prior to ovulation

---

3. Father’s Health and Sperm Quality

Recent studies have shown that a father’s health can influence the sex of the baby. Research indicates that paternal lifestyle factors, such as smoking and obesity, can affect sperm quality and the sex ratio of offspring. A study published in Human Reproduction found that men who smoked had a higher likelihood of conceiving a girl, while those who were obese had a higher likelihood of conceiving a boy.

According to this theory, if you want to concieve a girl, the baby’s father should:

• Remain fit, active and healthy
• Even though a history of smoking favors female sex of a baby, I never recommend smoking or tobacco use of any kind

---

4. Sexual Position

The position during intercourse is another factor considered in gender selection. The Shettles method suggests that deep penetration positions, such as doggy style, deposit sperm closer to the cervix, potentially favoring the “slower swimming” female sperm. In contrast, shallow penetration positions, like missionary, deposit sperm further from the cervix, possibly favoring female sperm.

According to this theory, if you want to concieve a girl, you should:

• Avoid shallow sex positions
• Elevate your legs following intercourse

According to this theory, if you want to conceive a boy, you should:

• Remain vertical following intercourse to use the power of gravity, forcing the stronger and faster swimmers to do their job
• Utilize deeply penetrating positions

---

5. Preconception Testing

Some couples opt for preconception testing to determine the best time for conception based on ovulation cycles. For example, if you don’t know when you’re ovulating, you won’t know whether it’s a good time to use the Shettle’s Method to favor a boy versus a girl. Cycle-tracking methods include tracking basal body temperature, monitoring cervical mucus, or using ovulation predictor kits. These methods help identify the most fertile days in a woman’s cycle, potentially increasing the chances of conception. However, while these methods can aid in timing intercourse, they do not guarantee the sex of the baby. That being said, all babies are a blessing, though it may be fun to experiment and see if you’re successful in gender sway when growing your family!

Closing thoughts:

While various methods exist for attempting to influence the sex of a baby, it’s crucial to approach these strategies with realistic expectations. Scientific evidence supporting most gender selection methods is limited but a combination of emerging studies and anecdotal evidence give hope to couples striving to conceive a sex-specific pregnancy.