What Diet Culture Won’t Tell You…

I was in another country when I hit my diet rock bottom, but I felt like I was on another planet. Suffering has a way of making us question our reality like that. At the time, I felt like I was in a daze. Sometimes I still find myself questioning the total whirlwind that was … More What Diet Culture Won’t Tell You…

Thinness ≠ Happiness

My eating disorder started out as an effort to be healthy. At the same time, I wanted to be skinny, or at least skinnier. Restricting my diet helped me lose weight (at least initially) under a socially acceptable guise of health. I was eating “clean” because it would help me run faster. Or something. [PSA: … More Thinness ≠ Happiness

Hungry Days

When I first really “got the hang of” intuitive eating—so to speak—I was enormously relieved by the fact that my eating became very stable and predictable. In my previous dieting days, eating was a huge source of stress for me because I was constantly afraid that I’d lose control around food. I had preconceived notions … More Hungry Days

Self-Care Is Imperfect

If you’d have asked me 10 years ago what I thought it meant to “take care of myself,” I would’ve said something along the lines of clean eating, exercising every day, maintaining a certain body weight, and keeping an appealing outward appearance…i.e. wearing makeup and nice clothes. If you’d have asked me what I thought self-care meant, I’d … More Self-Care Is Imperfect